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When a wrist is pulled behind the back and up to the opposing shoulder we have a hammerlock. This hands may be on the head, or behind the neck or in an over-arm tie.

They may be on the soles of the feet, on the ankles, [32] on the opposite ankles on the knees, to the side crossed in front or holding the opposite elbow.

A captive tie or over-arm tie Kotobu Ryo-tekubi , is a bondage position in which a person's wrists are fastened behind the person's head using some form of physical restraints, such as rope or cuffs to which is attached a length of rope, chain or strap the other end of which is attached to a belt at the waist or other anchoring point.

People who practice rope bondage see this as a short term or temporary tie, to be used to restrain the submissive while moving to another room, or a warm up introductory tie.

It is not inescapeable. The wrists are tied together in front with a double column tie. They are taken over the head and the rope falls down the centre of the back.

It is passed around the lower chest and looped around itself, it is reversed and the fall is tightened and centred, the rope passes back in front of the chest and is locked off at the centre back.

Spare rope can be passed up to wrists tightening the tie. To use this as a permanent tie, the tension is reduced and a further rope is passed between the upperarms, closing the space under the elbows.

The over-arm tie may be used as a part of more complicated bondage. For example, the back rope can be passed between the legs and fastened in front, forming a crotch rope.

The wrists may be tied to the upper arms with any desired tension, from a loose tie to a strict tie where the wrists are almost touching the upper arms.

In this position, the elbows stick out on each side, level with the head, with the hands tied behind the head. This is an asymmetric arm tie, where one arn is taken behind the back, and the other arm is taken over the shoulder.

The reverse prayer position , a technique used in BDSM play, involves restraint of a person's arms by binding them behind the person's back, with the hands placed between the shoulders, with the fingers of both hands straight, extended, and the palms of the hands touching each other.

It is thus similar to the traditional prayer position, but with the arms behind, rather than in front of, the bound person, thus preventing use of the arms.

Many people find this position painful after a time, and cramps may set in. Thus, someone bound in this position may need careful monitoring.

To immobilize the arms further, ropes or a strap are often placed round the arms and torso, pressing the arms against the back. On a woman, this can conveniently be linked to ropes for breast bondage.

Another technique is to fix ropes from the elbows to a belt or other ropes round the body. In bondage fiction, people in this position are sometimes forced to have their elbows touching, turning this into a form of elbow bondage.

Very few people can adopt this position without dislocation of the shoulders. However, with many people, it is possible to press the elbows together slightly and tie them in that position.

The reverse prayer position without any bondage is also used in some yoga exercises. Head bondage , in BDSM play, includes all techniques used to apply control to the head of the subject.

It may refer to one of several techniques: [37]. A head harness is a device made of interconnected straps designed to encircle the human head, used in BDSM activities.

The straps are generally secured by buckles that fasten at the back of the head. Head harnesses are most commonly used to provide points of attachments to secure various kinds of gags , such as ball gags , bit gags , muzzle gags and ring gags , although they also have other uses, such as providing attachment points for other forms of bondage, or may be used simply for their psychological effect.

Head harnesses may also function as a gag by themselves, by restricting the ability to open the mouth, or have a mouth cover as an integral part.

Head harnesses, like many other forms of bondage, also have the effect of creating a sense of objectification and erotic helplessness in the wearer, which can be erotic for the wearer, or for those observing them.

Many head harnesses are designed with straps that pass in front of the wearer's eyes, restricting their vision, and further increasing the sense of objectification and erotic subjugation.

Some have full blindfolds. The spread eagle position is also employed as a bondage position in BDSM play, sometimes horizontally otherwise vertically and even upside down.

This is a comfortable position, the submissive lies face up on their back with all four limbs secured to the furniture.

Face down would be called prone. The ties can be slack allowing movement or more severe. The position allows for total front access, but none to the rear, so it excludes spanking games.

Penetration is limited by the low angle. A standing or hanging spread eagle position can be achieved using equipment such as a Saint Andrew's cross or spreader bars or with ropes or chains attached to different endpoints.

Specialist bondage furniture with anchor points is manufactured. It encompasses cages, frames, stocks, chairs and tables.

For instance, a bed can be adapted using a restraints kit; webbing attached to leather cuffs is placed under the mattress.

A ladder back chair, offers anchor points for binding the legs high in the air, or behind. Strappado bondage is a term describing a position and technique used in BDSM play.

A person's arms are bound behind their back, then by use of some method of attachment such as a rope or chain that runs from their wrists to a securing point above, their arms are lifted behind them until the person is forced to bend forward.

The different styles of the strappado bind can be summarised as follows and these can be combined with crotch ropes and breast bondage, gags or blindfolds.

The exact technique used is very much related to the purpose of using this particular position in BDSM play:.

It intentionally reduces or s the subject's ability to struggle, as the body is placed in an awkward position such and any struggling on their part, could result in their losing balance.

As a result, the subject chooses not to move for fear of falling over. It create a sense of vulnerability in the subject's mind by exposing their buttocks and genital area.

When the elbows are bound together, even for very flexible subject it is rarely possible to bind them to touch, for as arms are lifted towards a horizontal position, the shoulder joints shift into a different position preventing the usual movement that should occur when the elbows are drawn together.

Irrespective of this any elbow bondage, even minor, applied in this manner may severely increase tension and pain. The use of head bondage allows the subject's head to be pulled back to a front-facing position as opposed to hanging towards the floor and is often used to make the subject perform oral sex.

In addition to the restrictiveness that this causes, if a suitable ring gag is used the subject may feel increasingly exposed to penetration and because the subject's head is facing down drooling may also occur.

The normal reaction of the subject is to increase the forward bending as the arms are lifted. By further lifting the arms beyond a critical point this may become too difficult or even physically impossible to continue without lifting themselves off the floor and force them to stand more upright and increase the strain on the shoulder joints.

The subject can also be secured to e. By completely immobilizing the subject's body the person in the dominant position can have complete and precise control over the tension and pain experienced.

A form of predicament bondage is to tie one foot of the subject to the opposite thigh or another body part so they have to concentrate on not causing more pain.

Their arms are raised to the point where they have to stand on their toes. To relieve pain in their foot they must lower their body and cause more pain in their shoulders.

To relieve pain in their shoulders they must stand on tip-toes and cause more pain in their foot and leg. Another variation is to tie the subject's foot to a body part of another subject so they can relieve their own pain but increase it for the other subject.

With the breasts pointing towards the floor, the use of nipple clamps , possibly with weights attached, can be used to stimulate the subject with more pain.

Strappado bondage is most commonly used with the subject's feet on the ground. Very rarely will someone use this technique with their feet off the ground, because of the pain and possibly severe injury this can cause.

Due to the difficulty of maintaining this position, this type of BDSM play does not allow for long periods of being bound.

Its major use is for sexual play with the bound subject. While bound like this, the subject is open to the use of various tools such as floggers, whips, etc.

This bondage position is also used as a form of torture, therefore measures are usually taken to ensure that the subject bound in this position is not pushed beyond their physical capabilities.

Any position that moves limbs into an extreme position and holds them there for an extended period of time can result in damage - sometimes permanent - to even the most flexible of people.

It is possible, though very rare, for extreme iterations of this position to cause asphyxiation, as being suspended in this way can constrict the lungs and cause respiratory distress.

Therefore, it's a technique to be performed with safety foremost in mind. Suspension bondage is a form of sexual bondage where a bound person is hung from one or more overhead suspension points.

Suspension bondage is considered to carry a higher risk than other forms of sexual bondage and there is much attention to safety. In partial suspension the person is bound in a way that part of their body weight is held by suspension ropes, cables or chains.

The classic partial suspension position is to have the person balancing on one foot with part of their weight supported through a chest harness and the other leg pulled up in some direction.

A person lying on their upper back with legs tied upwards to a suspension point to pull their lower back off the ground would also qualify as partial suspension.

In full suspension the person is completely supported by suspension ropes, cables or chains , and they have no contact with the ground.

The position of the person's body in a full suspension may be horizontal, vertical or inverted; it is only limited by their endurance and the skill of the binder.

A small group practise self-suspension. Metal can be used for bondage ties with handcuffs , metal hobbles and spreader bars. The rope used for Japanese bondage is made from natural fibres such as hemp , it is prepared by boiling to make it soft, but it is coarse and binds to its self: there is a lot of friction, so the knots hold fast.

The two basic ties are the single-column tie , where the 'column' could be the end of a limb or an attachment point, and the double column tie which could be used to bind two limbs.

They all start with a basic knot, and finish with securing the loose ends. I ended up falling asleep tied up.

I woke up and I was untied in bed by myself. Memories of the night before started to come back to me. I managed to get up and stumble to the bathroom and noticed her making breakfast.

It felt like I had to go but it hurt too much to continue to try. I walked back out of the bathroom and she was all smiles.

It triggered the memory of her smirk that she had while I cried in pain while I was tied up. Just sat down on the couch.

She came over and was acting like everything was fine. Why are you so upset about it? I exclaimed my feelings, told her how awful she was, and I broke up with her.

Cue her rage rampage. All I could do was try to separate myself from her in my tiny apartment while I dodged punches and thrown items.

I ended up calling the police which was the best decision I had ever made. The second I called them she calmed down and started to behave. They got there pretty quickly.

Of course, once they were there she played the damsel in distress and claimed that I was beating her up and choking her etc.

I told the cop everything that happened which was embarrassing but worth it. They arrested her and she was jailed. Fast forward to a couple weeks after that, I got the F out of there.

I moved and got a lawyer. Because she was not from my city I got a restraining order that kept her out of state.

I had the option to press charges but ended up choosing not to after consulting with my lawyer. I felt safe enough having a restraining order and was happy to not ever tell anyone about what happened ever again or even mention it.

When I was raped I was halfway through my undergraduate degree. I should have already graduated. I no longer feel comfortable with anything that restrains you.

Roller coasters, the little loop attached to a camera that you put on your wrist, even seat belts. Two were random hook ups, one of them I started to cry and just got dressed and left my own apartment.

The third woman I tried to have sex with my latest ex-girlfriend. We had been dating for a couple months and decided to hold off on sex her decision which I was happy with.

I have mostly good days now but still, have bad streaks. My wounds are still fresh and while I am getting better it is taking time. A lot of time.

If you like articles on this site please like and share and follow this blog to get my articles delivered directly to your inbox.

Sign up. I am so sorry he endured this brutal assault. There is nothing funny about breaking a trust. A betrayal that deep will take time to heal.

Thank you. Like Like. That is the I had to share this story on my blog. I suffered a similar event. I had been living with my girlfriend for some time and we even had a daughter.

Ask for help! Top agony aunts. About Us. Sitemap My girlfriend of 18 months tied me up in my sleep -- I was petrified.

What do I do moving forward? We had done bondage nothing I couldn't break free of a in the months before. However this was so out there I haven't been able to sleep for a week, and when I do doze off I wake up and end up in the fetal position.

I use to love her so much, we were so close emotional. We're both majoring in chemistry, so she's smart, she's gorgeous, sweet and usually sensitive.

What she did 7 days ago however, was petrifying and I really don't know if I can go on with her after it -- besides, I suspect it's completely illegal.

Be very honest about what you felt. Bondage can be a lot of fun, but you need to be safe too, thus safe words and what not.

This was rape, pretty plain and simple. You might want to see a councellor. I don't know what I'm going to do. We go to different schools, so I only really see her on the weekend I really think what she did was unforgivable, and I think I should have seen it coming -- her

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Under strain, the shoes may come off or the heels may break off. When tied this way the shoes cannot be removed. The head may be pulled back in some way, such as in head bondage.

However, purists argue that this goes against the idea of binding into a ball. Alternatively, the head can be pulled forward to force the chin to press against the chest.

The position can be stringent and some would argue stimulating. At the same time it is comfortable and the subject may remain in it for quite some time.

The ball tie is one of the positions possible in self-bondage. The mobility is limited so extra independent escape mechanisms should be used over and above the usual bondage precautions.

Hogtie bondage requires all four limbs to be tied together behind the back. It typically involves connecting a person's wrists and ankles behind the back using some form of physical restraints such as rope or cuffs , but may in some BDSM contexts also refer to the binding of arms and legs behind the back.

A classic western hogtie would be made more stringent by binding together the elbows and binding together the knees. A variation of the hogtie involves tying bound wrists to frogtied legs, providing the dominant easier access to the submissive 's crotch for sexual play.

A pretzel hogtie is a stringent variant that has the wrists, elbows and ankles all tied together behind the back and the ankles cinched to the shoulder harness.

The hogtie position places pressure on the abdomen of the tied person, which may create difficulty in breathing known as postural asphyxia.

This risk is in addition to the normal risks of physical restraint and BDSM play. The submissive's wrists are tied to the ankles, and the elbows attached to the knees.

It is restrictive, allowing only the opening and closing of the legs and some rolling. It originated over years ago in in Japan as a torture and interrogation technique.

Due to the forced bent-down position of the upper body, this position sends a burning sensation through the body if the subject remains in it for a long time.

Firstly, a chest tie, such as a box tie , is constructed. The participant sits cross-legged, and the ankles are tied together using a single column tie.

From here, the rope is looped over the participants neck, or chest harness and back to the ankles; this is then progressively tightened, bringing the ankles up to the head.

A Gyaku ebi : Firstly, a chest tie, such as a box tie , is constructed. From here, the participant is moved onto their stomach, and the rope is passed from ankles along the back, pulling them and securing them to the buttocks.

This is also called the Japanese hog-tie. A bondage rope harness , sometime also referred to as a bondage web', rope web, rope dress or karada , is a binding which involves the tying of an intricate structure of rope around the body in a complex web-like fashion.

A rope harness is similar in effect to a leather bondage harness , in that both are not in themselves normally used to bind a person, but are used to apply pressure over the area bound and can provide securing points for other bondage techniques, including suspension bondage.

A rope dress uses around 10—15 m of rope to tie, and involves multiple passes of rope from front to back around the body to build up the characteristic diamond-shaped rope pattern.

It typically starts from a rope halter, the double rope with four specifically placed overhand knots falls down the body, and is pulled loosely beneath the crotch and up to the back of the neck halter.

The single strands are now passed from back to front, looping into the stem or using Munter hitches. In some cases, a rope harness may extend beyond the torso, into diamond-patterned webs that extend down the length of the arms or legs.

Though a rope harness is not normally used to bind the limbs, it can be used for that purpose by simply going around the arms not under. A rope dress can be used with a crotch rope or a shinju "pearl" breast harness.

The Japanese term shibari means simply "a tie", while kinbaku is a decorative tie; where the aim is to produce a beautiful rope pattern around the body.

Traditionally, a distinction was made between kikkou "turtle-shell" pattern; hexagonal and hishi diamond patterned ties, although many modern sources just use the term kikkou to refer to any rope body harness.

A crotch rope also known as Matanawa or Sakura [17] in Japanese bondage involves tying rope around a woman's waist; this is then passed between the labia to apply painful or pleasurable pressure onto her genitals.

The crotch rope is most commonly hemp or jute , but webbing , straps or a harness may also be used. It is readily combined with every other bondage position.

The crotch rope may be tied over clothing or directly onto the skin; it can be worn under clothing or in full view. While crotch ropes are most commonly used on women, specific variations do exist for men.

A crotch rope can also be used as an unsophisticated type of chastity belt. Typically, the ropes pass between the labia majora [20] or deeper through the pudendal cleft of the vulva.

Knots can be tied in the rope to apply specific pressure to the anus or clitoris. It is also used in BDSM activities especially on female submissives most commonly as a part of tease and denial.

The classic damsel in distress pose, beloved of the silent movies, used crotch rope then tied the wrists and elbows behind the back, and the tied ankles, and knees.

And sat the heroine looking pathetic. For abrasion play if the rope is not tied to the waist it can be moved forward and backward between the labia or the subject can be made to walk across it.

The ropes may be wrapped tightly around the waist and tied off in front, fed down across the genitals, then pulled back up behind and tied to other cords wrapped around the wrists, doubling as a cinch to tighten them further.

This allows the rope bound person some ability to vary pressure on the genitals often causing sexual stimulation at the cost of reduced freedom of movement.

If such a cord is pulled extremely tight the wrists and arms will have very little freedom of movement particularly when combined with elbow bondage and the hands will be firmly forced in contact with the buttocks.

The frogtie is a lower-body bondage position in which a person's legs are bent fully at the knees. They are bound separately ankle-to-thigh, and also just behind the knee, in the likeness of a crouched frog.

This is the starting point of many other ties. This tie places the person in a position where they are vulnerable but not completely immobilized and can still move about, albeit in an awkward crawling motion.

The frogtie, with the person restrained so, can also be used as a restrictive sex position or as a basis for more restrictive bondage. The bound person's wrist tie can also be tethered to some sort of immovable ring by an arbitrary length of cord, allowing some limited freedom of movement while preventing escape.

Kinbaku enthusiasts could use a futumomo tie. In a similar position, the person's wrists are simply bound to their corresponding ankles.

However, that position cannot be fully considered as a frogtie, because it does not match the "bound ankle-to-thigh" condition.

The legs may be tightly together, colourfully describes as virgin, together, apart, widely apart described as the slut position.

Standing may be relaxed, on tiptoe or at the most extreme, en pointe. Some more flexible submissives are comfortable sitting in the yoga , Lotus position.

Some sit naturally crosslegged. The box tie is a tie of the chest and upper arms, and is combined to create with ties of the lower limbs as a component or variation of other ties.

Both arms are supported in parallel behind the back by a core and made immobile by a tensioned rope connecting the midpoint of the upper arms.

The TK wrap or shibari box tie, gote shibari , is a single column tie of the upper body. It is also called a takate kote. This forms the starting point for the tie that has a top rope that encircles the torso and arms just below the shoulder, tying back to a central point, creating a stem down to the forearms.

This is the distinguishing feature of the box-tie. A lower rope encircles the arms and torso at a midpoint between the upper rope and elbow, tying back to the stem.

TK wraps are used in suspension bondage , and if the ropes are misplaced the body weight can crush the radial nerve leading to the serious and possibly irreversible condition known as wrist drop.

There is no absolutely safe position for the top wrap; the mid-point gap between the triceps and the deltoid muscles is the most problematic.

The cross-chest boxtie replaces the top rope by one that passes over the shoulder and back under the opposite arm, reverses tension and then repeats over the other shoulder.

A more strenuous alternative is the elbows together tie, which can lead to a strappado, or the reverse-prayer ties The over-arm Hasenohren or bunny ears ties, method is another way of restraining the hands.

Breast bondage is a bondage technique which involves the tying of rope around a woman's breasts in a visually intricate and decorative pattern. Breast bondage most commonly uses rope, but webbing , straps or a harness may also be used.

Breast bondage often focuses on the decorative, aesthetic and erotic aspects of the result, and not on immobilization of the female subject. However, breast bondage can be combined with other techniques which restrict the subject's mobility and can provide securing points for other bondage plays, such as crotch rope and breast torture.

Breast bondage can be applied over clothing or directly to the skin , and can be worn under clothing or in full view.

The basic breast bondage technique involves tying ropes around the base of the breasts , causing them to bulge outwards. Usually, the same rope is used for both breasts so that the rope harness is automatically held together at the front.

The rope may then also be fixed behind the back, to make a sort of bra. Another technique is to put a rope around the torso just above the breasts, and another one just below them, then push the ropes together to squeeze the breasts from the top and bottom.

This can be done instead of, or as well as, the other method. A rope can also be passed over the shoulders and between the breasts, drawing the rope above and below the breasts together, then pass back over the shoulders to the knots at the back.

The primary rope can be used to place cinches between the arms and the body. It has been popularly claimed that "shinju" is an authentic Japanese term for a "bikini harness".

However, no such tie called a "shinju" is found in historic or present kinbaku. The basic or foundational kinbaku form of binding the arms and breasts is known as the Ushiro Takatekote , which is to bind the arms behind ushiro the back in a box arm position takate kote.

Sometimes, breast bondage is combined with other bondage techniques. For example, the woman's arms can be tied behind her back, in an elbow or box tie or in a reverse prayer position.

When combined with breast bondage, bound arms force the woman's chest and breasts to protrude further.

When combining breast and arm bondage, the ropes can draw the ropes above and below the breasts together at the sides of the breasts as they pass under the shoulders and behind the neck, thus resulting in rope effectively surrounding the breasts.

Breast bondage can play an integral part in suspension bondage. If the subject is being suspended, particularly in a horizontal position such as a suspended hogtie, breast bondage is used as the main supporting area under the chest.

To describe a rig, a whole vocabulary has evolved. When the arms are crossed over the chest like a mummy: this is Egyptian, if they touch the opposite shoulders: this is a double-V.

When a wrist is pulled behind the back and up to the opposing shoulder we have a hammerlock. This hands may be on the head, or behind the neck or in an over-arm tie.

They may be on the soles of the feet, on the ankles, [32] on the opposite ankles on the knees, to the side crossed in front or holding the opposite elbow.

A captive tie or over-arm tie Kotobu Ryo-tekubi , is a bondage position in which a person's wrists are fastened behind the person's head using some form of physical restraints, such as rope or cuffs to which is attached a length of rope, chain or strap the other end of which is attached to a belt at the waist or other anchoring point.

People who practice rope bondage see this as a short term or temporary tie, to be used to restrain the submissive while moving to another room, or a warm up introductory tie.

It is not inescapeable. The wrists are tied together in front with a double column tie. They are taken over the head and the rope falls down the centre of the back.

It is passed around the lower chest and looped around itself, it is reversed and the fall is tightened and centred, the rope passes back in front of the chest and is locked off at the centre back.

Spare rope can be passed up to wrists tightening the tie. To use this as a permanent tie, the tension is reduced and a further rope is passed between the upperarms, closing the space under the elbows.

The over-arm tie may be used as a part of more complicated bondage. For example, the back rope can be passed between the legs and fastened in front, forming a crotch rope.

The wrists may be tied to the upper arms with any desired tension, from a loose tie to a strict tie where the wrists are almost touching the upper arms.

In this position, the elbows stick out on each side, level with the head, with the hands tied behind the head. This is an asymmetric arm tie, where one arn is taken behind the back, and the other arm is taken over the shoulder.

The reverse prayer position , a technique used in BDSM play, involves restraint of a person's arms by binding them behind the person's back, with the hands placed between the shoulders, with the fingers of both hands straight, extended, and the palms of the hands touching each other.

It is thus similar to the traditional prayer position, but with the arms behind, rather than in front of, the bound person, thus preventing use of the arms.

Many people find this position painful after a time, and cramps may set in. Thus, someone bound in this position may need careful monitoring.

To immobilize the arms further, ropes or a strap are often placed round the arms and torso, pressing the arms against the back.

On a woman, this can conveniently be linked to ropes for breast bondage. Another technique is to fix ropes from the elbows to a belt or other ropes round the body.

In bondage fiction, people in this position are sometimes forced to have their elbows touching, turning this into a form of elbow bondage.

Very few people can adopt this position without dislocation of the shoulders. However, with many people, it is possible to press the elbows together slightly and tie them in that position.

The reverse prayer position without any bondage is also used in some yoga exercises. Head bondage , in BDSM play, includes all techniques used to apply control to the head of the subject.

It may refer to one of several techniques: [37]. A head harness is a device made of interconnected straps designed to encircle the human head, used in BDSM activities.

The straps are generally secured by buckles that fasten at the back of the head. Head harnesses are most commonly used to provide points of attachments to secure various kinds of gags , such as ball gags , bit gags , muzzle gags and ring gags , although they also have other uses, such as providing attachment points for other forms of bondage, or may be used simply for their psychological effect.

Head harnesses may also function as a gag by themselves, by restricting the ability to open the mouth, or have a mouth cover as an integral part.

Head harnesses, like many other forms of bondage, also have the effect of creating a sense of objectification and erotic helplessness in the wearer, which can be erotic for the wearer, or for those observing them.

Many head harnesses are designed with straps that pass in front of the wearer's eyes, restricting their vision, and further increasing the sense of objectification and erotic subjugation.

Some have full blindfolds. Slowly over time, her resistance to my resistance grew and I figured out after that she was hoping to get me angry because she was into getting me riled up and then seducing me because we always had passionate makeup sex.

Anyways, she started to ask for more. Not just more things like clothes, health products, misc items but also more things in bed.

For a long time 3 months maybe she tried to convince me to let her finger me while she gave me a blow job or while we had sex.

I stuck to my guns for a really long time but eventually, I was manipulated into allowing her to try it once. I was constantly told how selfish I was, things of that nature that led me to let her.

She told me she understood and that she was happy that I tried. Over the next couple months, she started to do it while I slept. I would wake up and she would be doing it while she blew me.

Sometimes I woke up partially and was too tired to do anything about it but when I did wake up I made her stop every time.

I would get very mad at her and not talk to her the next day. She would then get mad at me and redirect the blame and convince me that I was wrong.

I ended up apologizing to her every time. I grew to accept it. Luckily she started to lose interest in doing it after a while after I stopped caring about it.

In the short term it was good for me, but in the long run, it was bad. The worst day of my life was when she decided to tie me up.

She told me all the dirty things she was going to do to me while she kissed my neck and whispered into my ear as she tied my arms and legs down to the bed.

Everything she said she was going to do was normal to me suck me, ride me so I let her tie me up. After I was tied up she asked me to try to break free and offered a reward to me if I could.

She came back and stood at the door and stared at me. She then told me she was going to punish me. Long story short, she ended up sodomizing me with her vibrator.

I must have said no a thousand times. I was crying, and begging her to stop which in hindsight probably made it worse. I was so broken emotionally and in pain physically.

I was beaten for a while. Then the vibrator again while being hit. It lasted about 6 or 7 hours but felt like it was a dozen.

For a while, she just left it in me while she went into the other room to watch tv. It was midday when she tied me up and had been dark for a few hours after it was over.

I ended up falling asleep tied up. I woke up and I was untied in bed by myself. Memories of the night before started to come back to me.

I managed to get up and stumble to the bathroom and noticed her making breakfast. It felt like I had to go but it hurt too much to continue to try.

I walked back out of the bathroom and she was all smiles. It triggered the memory of her smirk that she had while I cried in pain while I was tied up.

Just sat down on the couch. She came over and was acting like everything was fine. Why are you so upset about it? I exclaimed my feelings, told her how awful she was, and I broke up with her.

Cue her rage rampage. All I could do was try to separate myself from her in my tiny apartment while I dodged punches and thrown items. I ended up calling the police which was the best decision I had ever made.

The second I called them she calmed down and started to behave. They got there pretty quickly. Of course, once they were there she played the damsel in distress and claimed that I was beating her up and choking her etc.

I told the cop everything that happened which was embarrassing but worth it. They arrested her and she was jailed.

Fast forward to a couple weeks after that, I got the F out of there. I moved and got a lawyer. Because she was not from my city I got a restraining order that kept her out of state.

I had the option to press charges but ended up choosing not to after consulting with my lawyer. I felt safe enough having a restraining order and was happy to not ever tell anyone about what happened ever again or even mention it.

When I was raped I was halfway through my undergraduate degree. I should have already graduated. I no longer feel comfortable with anything that restrains you.

Roller coasters, the little loop attached to a camera that you put on your wrist, even seat belts. Two were random hook ups, one of them I started to cry and just got dressed and left my own apartment.

The third woman I tried to have sex with my latest ex-girlfriend. We had been dating for a couple months and decided to hold off on sex her decision which I was happy with.

I have mostly good days now but still, have bad streaks. My wounds are still fresh and while I am getting better it is taking time. A lot of time.

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